Take TWO · Woof Humor


I cannot believe how close that was!! Phew!!

Just when I was beginning to despair, when I started to feel like all was lost and I had better throw the towel in before my parents figured out my deception and threw my towel in for me [if you have no idea what I’m going on -AND ON- about, read all about my -almost- Woof Wacation (sic)], I was SAVED SAVED SAVED by the very people because of whom I was plunged into this mess in the first place, the staff of Kissss FM.

That’s right. Just when I was ready to give up, ready to stop playing this silly little game and just TELL me parents that I can read, write, blog and understand conversation like any other human being [everything but TALK, basically, thanks to my impossibly flabby tongue that has vowed to make speech as difficult as can be for me -hey that rhymes!!] when Kissss FM went ahead and WITHDREW the entire thing!!

How sweet was that??

And, OK, it isn’t like they did it for ME. They sure as hell didn’t break the hearts of the two other winners just to please a bloggin’ DOG. It was probably because of some technical difficulty that popped in the way or something.

Either way, whether they did it because they love and admire me so much [HA!] or because of some financial problem, I’m OK with it. Because it means that I can continue blogging and listening to private conversations just like always, and to me, that is the ultimate pleasure.

Take TWO · Woof Humor

A Teensy Complication…

Turns out, I didn’t really think the whole thing through. Y’know, the Kissss FM (sic) Fiasco.Not only have I failed to mention a significant detail to the Kissss Fm staff [i.e, that I am a DOG and therefore cannot travel in aeroplanes -and probably cannot even participate in the One Direction Ballot in the FIRST place], but what about my FAMILY??

Do you think Mom and Dad are just going to be like, ‘Oh Feni, our darling little Labrador!! We just got a call from Kissss FM and the kind people there told us that you entered one of their competitions using Kathryn’s brand new phone -no wonder it has got fur all over it- but who cares about the mess or even the fact that thanks to how you sent the entry message about one thousand times, you’ve racked up our phone bill to higher than the gross annual income of a third world country because you WON!! Here you go, we will readily pay the air fees and discuss this startling discovery once your back from your holiday. I mean, you can understand humans talk AND type extremely well?? What a talented pooch you are, but we’ll talk about the later. For now, Bone Voyage!!’ [Get it??]

Over my DEAD BODY.

My parents are the strictest, most SAVAGE beings ever to have trodden the surface of the earth [and I am NOT kidding. They think Prof Fletcher in the legendary movie Whiplash was advocating teaching techniques that were too MILD for twenty-first century kids. Not THAT’S ruthless]. If they figure out that I’ve been eavesdropping on their conversations for the last FOUR YEARS and that it was me, not Kathryn, who wound up their phone bill to 2,546.50$, I’m dead dog meat.

No joke.