It's A Dog's Life · Take TWO · Woof Humor

All I’m Asking For…

I like to think of myself as a no-frills kind of dog. I don’t ask for toys or chews or premium kibble. I don’t even remember the last time I hinted to Mom that I needed to go out and -well- relieve myself [which, granted, is mainly because I’ve started peeing behind the sofa in the study but whatever. What Mom doesn’t know won’t kill her].

And, sure, I sometimes throw a bit of a tantrum when my birthday/Christmas/any-festival-to-be-honest present hauls turn out to be measly, but apart from that, I’m an angel. Honestly, dogs like me don’t come along very often.

I don’t ask for fancy collars of gourmet biscuits; silk baskets or a robot assistant [OK, I might have asked for THAT last Christmas but I didn’t really mean it. And OK, maybe I refused to look at Mom and Dad for the next few weeks after I learned that they hadn’t gifted me one, but I was only joking. Obviously]; custom-made, YSL Halloween costumes or animal-friendly karaoke systems…

The one thing I DO ask for, however, the one thing I DEMAND, is being served my food on time.

That’s all I want.

And am I granted that common courtesy?? Does my so-called “family” do the one thing, the ONE thing, I beg them to do??

The answer is a exasperatingly loud and clear NO. No, they do not. They do not serve me my food before I am reduced to shimmying on the floor as a sort of “will-dance-for-food” routine. They do not bother feeding me until I have already starved half to death. It is mortifying and degrading and I do not appreciate it one bit.

Honestly, if I ever write an autobiography, copyright had better not stop me from titling it “The Hunger Games.” It had better not.

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6 thoughts on “All I’m Asking For…

  1. Come on Feni,Hungry and YOU???
    That’s the last thing that crosses ones mind on seeing you and your ample curves…
    Your sisters on the other hand are walking advertising for famine in Sub Saharan Africa….The technical term as Gammu would subtly put it. ….”Skinny bums”

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