It's A Dog's Life · Ramblings · Take TWO · Woof Humor

Doomsday

Look, I knew this day was coming all along. I may be DUMB [literally], but I ain’t STUPID. OBVIOUSLY I knew from the moment Mom and Dad left the front porch that they’d have to -you know- come BACK home one day. Someday. ANYDAYBUTTODAY!!

I am a complete and total WRECK. The THOUGHT of seeing M&D’s faces when I wake up tomorrow morning is TRAUMATISING, not to mention totally UNFAIR. WHY WHY WHY couldn’t I be adopted by a family of Brazilian billionaires?? That way, they’d be on vacation almost every day of the year leaving me free as a bird. Ooh, ooh, better yet, I could go on holiday WITH them!! Yes!! Much as I RELISH my freedom when I’m looked after by Grandma and Grandpa, going to 7-star resorts and being waited on forepaw and hindpaw [the gawky, canine equivalent of “hand and foot”] can have its pluses…

BRAINWAVE!! What IF I am ACTUALLY a Cambodian Duchess and the sudden vision I got of me lounging in the Hilton is not some weird, fantastical dream but a BLAST FROM THE PAST?! >Gasps< There’s so much to do!! >Dramatically Gulps< I need to contact the FBI, I need to get mani-pedis, I need to order a bagel from SnaxNSips…

I think I need therapy.

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