It's A Dog's Life · Take TWO · Woof Humor

Swallowed Me Up And Spat Me Out

REJECTED AGAIN. [I really am getting used to the r-word. A week ago, I used to burst into incredulous tears just at the thought of being said “no” to, by anyone -I mean, have you LOOKED at my eyes?? They aren’t called Doggie Eyes for nothing, y’know-]

A few days ago, I sent my second round of emails [in THREE DAYS -God, that HAS to be some sort of record] to about fifteen publishing houses and practically BEGGED them to publish my soon-to-be-bestseller. Following my own advice, I even slipped in the teensy detail that it was written by a DOG, which I was sure would do the trick.

Unfortunately, I have now learned the hard way that you need more than four paws and a tail to get anyone to seal the deal on ANYTHING nowadays. Which, in case you were wondering, totally SUCKS.

Of course, it’s not like being a canine is my only asset. I also have my super-brain and well… my… YES! My stomach’s ability to digest bag after bag of Pedigree and not feel a thing. And also, there’s my… You know… My f-f-FRIENDLINESS [if that is even a word]. And, OBVIOUSLY, my… um, my…

I give up. I am a complete loser. NOW will you let me drown my sorrows in kibble and How I Met Your Mother marathons in peace??

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