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The Hundred and Twenty-Seventh Promise

When I woke up this morning, it suddenly hit me how absolutely USELESS I have been to my family so far. They feed me, they treat me, they pamper me, they play with me, they make sure I’m happy, they give me access to their computer [kind of], they shower me with unconditional love, they make sure they employ a sitter to take care of me when their away [which isn’t often], they bathe me [which is quite a chore. I mean, I’m sure I need a bar of deodorant more than anyone else in the world]…

And what have I done for THEM?? Well…

I’ve made myself a pain by raiding their cookie cabinet from time to time, I’ve used up MOST of their hard-earned dough thanks to my inexplicably gigantic stomach, I’ve trashed their computer by blogging on it [YOU try removing Labrador fur from your Lenovo keyboard], I’ve stunk-up their otherwise-perfect house, I’ve TARNISHED their reputation, I’ve wasted their time [It’s probably the most tiresome job in the world. Being my evening walker, I mean. Even if you manage to HAUL me out of the house -which is a feat in itself- I downright REFUSE to walk another inch until I’m lured by raspberry-flavored chews], I’ve peed all over Dad’s once-brand-new gardening kit, I’ve shredded Mom’s antique Egyptian carpet, I’ve dog-eared numerous books belonging to Taylor [I’ve a special taste for the classics -Who ever said I’m not a cultured dog??-], I’ve punctured holes in and emptied Trikaya’s make-up tubes [the Kissable Kranberry line is especially delicious], I’ve managed to PETRIFY the mail-man [thought how anyone can be afraid of ME is a million dollar question. I mean, I move at the speed of half a mile per hour -and that’s only at my peak-] which means that all their letters are dropped at the neighbor’s place and any super-important messages received have to be replied to later than preferred…

SERIOUSLY, is there ONE plus point you get for adopting me?? For sheltering me and comforting me and helping me SURVIVE in this nuthouse which we refer to as Earth??

I’m afraid, the answer is NO. Until now.

Because, I have decided to let you guys, my wonderful, wonderful blog followers, be my esteemed witnesses as I state in bold that I, HRH Feni, hereby swear that I will gift my parents, Taylor and Trikaya the most fantabulous [a fusion of “fantastic” and “fabulous”] presents ever received by a member of the human race since the beginning of time. Furthermore, I will pay for the awesome presents they are sure to give me on the 25th of December, for I have caused enough financial hindrance to my beloved family as it is. Amen. 

And THAT’S what you call a speech, brothers and sisters.

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4 thoughts on “The Hundred and Twenty-Seventh Promise

  1. Lol…. so here is a dog with not only a lovely home, adopted parents and all and also with a mind and blog of its own….

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