Something CRAZY happened this weekend [CRAZY is a little too tame a word for what happened. More like COMPREHENSIVELY KOOKY!!]. Something that TOTALLY made me forget all about my little dog-sitting incident until right this moment [honest to Pedigree].
I FOUND something.
A letter, to be more specific.
A LOVE letter, to be even more detailed.
A LOVE LETTER FROM DAD TO MOM, TO BE EXCRUCIATINGLY PRECISE!!
Can you COMPREHEND such a thing?? Imagine just CHANCING upon a steamy, passionate letter while on your way to -ahem- empty your bladder [WHAT?! That was the most elegant way I could think of to put it. I couldn’t downright say I went to PEE right?? -Oops, just did- This is a blog of HIGH STANDARDS, OK?!]. And a letter from your PARENTS, at that.
Talk about insufferably gross and marvelously interesting [or simply “incredibly grinteresting”] at the same time!!
I almost didn’t know what to do. A tiny part of me whispered in a silvery voice, “Put it back, Feni. You know it’s the right thing to do.” But another, much larger, part of me yelled, “GOSSIP!! GOSSIP!! OPEN IT, DORKUS!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!” And so I did.
And you will not BELIEVE the number of times my pulse SURGED due to certain… parts.
Of course, although I DID rip the thing open and read it as fast as I possibly could, I am NOT privacy-exploiting enough to actually POST the whole thing up here for millions to read. I AM their foster-daughter and all.
But… But Oh MY MY.
I will never again, not even for a moment, doubt if my Dad has a single romantic fiber in his being. Even when he refuses to massage Mom’s throbbing temple after she’s stormed through office and then made dinner for five ravenous mouths.
Not even then.