YESS!! I KNEW that having a dog-sitter who actually gave a fig about me would benefit me in some, strange way, and benefit me in a strange way it DID!!
WE’RE HAVING A PARTAY!!
I cannot BELIEVE this. It all happened this afternoon. I was casually laying down as she rubbed a scented lotion onto my tummy [hey, I have FINALLY met someone who loves me for what I am [after about TWO YEARS of tireless pursuit], so don’t you dare tell me that I can’t ask her for a few favours now and then] when she said, “What could we do to lighten this place up?? How can we have more fun…” And then her eyes went all bulgy [like when Dad tried a squirt of “Extra Hot Tobasco Sauce” last Christmas] and she started waving her arms about like a flabby Aunt in aerobics class. I almost started to say “Can we get back to massaging me now??” When she squealed, “I know, I KNOW!! LET’S HAVE A GET-TOGETHER!!” –Which, everyone knows, is the dorky word for PARTAY!!-
Obviously, I forgot all about my rubdown and proceeded to nod my head vigorously, just to show her that I was all IN. This is EXACTLY what I need to go from Socially Non-Existent to Life Of The Party!!
So we spent the next two hours calling up the pizza guy, decorating the place and mass-ordering Red Bull [Although I’m not entirely sure my doggie-friends are allowed to have aerated drinks. Isn’t that human food?? Who cares, though?? I mean…] WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A BLAST!!!
It’s starting in thirty minutes. I can hardly wait for the NEW YORK TIMES vans to start parking their vans outside and snapping pictures for tomorrow’s front page. Who has ever heard of the party of the CENTURY not being photographed by the world’s leading newspaper??