Turns out, the dog-sitter DOESN’T spend all her time on Facebook. In fact, she hardly does ANYTHING except fawn. Over ME.
She just coos and awws and buzzes around me all day like a lawyer at a crime scene. The whole day it’s just “Feni would you like me to massage your hind paws again??” or “Who’s a good girl?? Who deserves a strawberry swirl London Dairy ice cream??”
And maybe it was kind of nice at the start. I LOVED all the frozen treats [not to mention the belly rubs]. But then I remembered what I was doing to her future. Doing what you’re supposed to do is not cool. Doing you JOB is not cool. Jocks and rich kids would sooner be caught WEARING their underwear than paying attention to their charge.
So I did the only rational thing I could, considering the circumstances; I gave her a pep talk [which doesn’t make much sense NOW, considering how I can’t form basic sentences -forget deliver life-changing spiels- but I as under a lot of stress. A girl’s CAREER was in my paw. It was make or break]
I was like, ‘Girl, you have GOT to cool it. I may be the cutest thing you have ever seen since FOREVER, but if you want to get a reputation in these parts of town, you’ve got to ignore me all day and click selfies instead. Trust me, guys like the bad chicks.’
But all I got for THAT lecture was an extra hug.
I want to just shake her till her eyeballs plop off. I KNOW that I have a history of grumbling about people who don’t do their jobs, but I never expected someone to actually go ahead and DO it. I am so taken aback.
This shows us how much living with a family preps us for the real world. [That is, it doesn’t prep us at all]