Woof Humor

The Hundred and First Bewilderment

I’d walked up to the desktop this morning, all cute and innocent, only to find KATHRYN, of all people, perched on the cushiony red swivel chair, browsing the net.

Although every fibre of my being advised me to rush over to my foster sister, shake her till her bones rattled and COMMAND her to check her eMail, I settled for the next best thing; curling up into a furry ball and snuggling next to her feet.

Hello?? How can you JUDGE me for that?? I mean, who doesn’t like a good cuddle. Besides, even if I DID manage to “shake Kathryn till her bones rattled,” there’s NO WAY I could’ve told her to check her inbox because of my -ahem- lack of speech. I’m a DOG, for crying out loud. Give me a break.

Soon enough, though, Kathryn DID sign into her Hotmail account…

…And when she read the first message I sent her, words can’t describe how happy she sounded.

‘MMMMMMOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAADDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME HERE QUICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WON, I WON, I WON, I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

I was a little taken aback by this exclamation, ESPECIALLY because I was SOO close to sending her the SECOND eMail, in which I was going to inform her that she could no longer actually BE B-Dawg.

Watching her gleefully narrate to Mom and Dad about how SHE’D won the competition… It made me feel a weird sense of… well, joy. For someone else.

And it got me thinking.

If being ME made Kathryn so happy, then who was I to take away that pleasure?? Did I have the right to crush someone’s obvious ecstasy?? [Granted, I was the person she wanted to become, but STILL]

And, right then, as I stared Kathryn tear up and down the house, screaming to anyone who wanted to listen about her “Big Break,” I amde a decision. One that will possibly change my life for the worse. But one that I’m going to keep, anyway.

From now on, till the end of all eternity, Kathryn and ONLY Kathryn is B-Dawg.

And I get that it’d kind of like pawning away my second identity for the sake of my sister’s euphoria.

But hey, if she’s happy, I’m happy.



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