Woof Humor

The Ninety-Fourth News Flash

I InstaMessaged Kathryn last night, stating that I was B-Dawg and that I’d picked up the lot with her name on it while trying to decide who to crown as, well, the next me. Every inch of my body warned me against clicking the “send” button. EVERY INCH.

But I did it, anyway. Because I’m a “good dog.” But you know what the funny part is?? Being “good” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, I don’t have to deal with a guilty conscience every morning. But I DO have to wait by the computer every single second of the day, waiting anxiously for a reply.

Which TOTALLY sucks.

I have WAY better things to do than crouch next to an Apple product 24/7. Like eating. Lots and lots of eating.

I could, in fact, really use a snack right about now.

But I daren’t risk it. I have to be there the SECOND my Yahoo notifications beep, signifying the entrance of new fresh mail into my inbox. Because I have to get it over with as quick as possible. I just HAVE to. I need to hand over the baton to my elder sibling and halt my professional career as an amazingly-popular advice columnist as FAST as my lump-of-a-body will let me.

>MacBook Pro Beeps<

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I’VE GOT A EMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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