Woof Humor

The Seventy-Ninth Greeting

I just got my first “Ask B-Dawg” letter today!! What’s “Ask B-Dawg??” Well, a few weeks ago, I started posting ads online about a “smart, Cambridge-alumnus shrink who can solve all of your problems in a trice.” [In case you haven’t figured, that’s my description. For obvious reasons, I could script a REAL summary of myself, could I?? NOBODY would want to ask a “Talking Dog With No Degrees Whatsoever” for advice. Even I wouldn’t] Of course, B-Dawg is only y FAVOURITE MOVIE STAR and that’s why I chose that as my alias.

Here it is, my very first question:

Dear B-Dawg,

I really like your pseudonym. -I checked up “pseudonym.” It’s a fancy way to say “pen name”- But the real reason I wrote to you is because I need someone to tell me what to do. I’m an eight-year old girl with a dream… I want to be famous!! It’s a pretty common desire among kids my age, but I REALLY want to make it into the music industry. I’ve written a whole album, but I don’t have the courage to tell my parents about it. What if they laugh?? They’re the sweetest Mom and Dad on earth, but I’m not sure if they’ll get it. What do YOU think I should do?? 

Starry-Eyed PreTeen

This is what I wrote back:

Every other kid wants to be popular. Who doesn’t want a bunch of fans trailing after you?? But keep in mind that fame isn’t as glossy as it looks. I know lots of super stars -OK, I might have kind of lied over there- and they all face problems of their own. I think what you need to focus on is not how well the people receive you, but the quality of your work. Talk to your parents, dearie. I’m 100% sure they’ll be nothing but encouraging and supportive. These are your PARENTS we’re talking about!! Shine on, girl. You’ll always be a star to them 🙂

So?? What d’ya think?? Is that what you would’ve said?? Hit the comments section, kids, and tell me what you think.


Over and Out


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