This holiday life sure suits me, baby!! Sure, it gets a little too chill sometimes, but I can live with that. Since I hardly have anytime to write a fresh, new post, here is a repeated set of paragraphs from August 2013:
Is it just me or is there an impending disaster growing in the garden?? It’s this HUGE, abnormally large shrub sprouting bang in the middle of the polychromatic flower beds [that decorate the right wing of the house] that seems ABSOLUTELY out of control. I tried to tell the gardener, but, of course, he paid no heed to my warnings. If there’s one thing you learn to adjust to when your a dog, its the inability to verbalize and open your heart out.
I have pretty much mastered my patience except for when it comes to times when I try to talk to someone about some emergency or the other and accidentally forget that all I can do is throw out a measly bark. When that happens, I let out yelps of frustration which humans translate as some weird rain-woof or something, because they bring out their weapons and shut down the fort. Humans!! I’ll never understand them!!!
Coming back to the gigantic outgrowth that has burped out of the ground, I have to say, it looks PRETTY deadly. Like as if you could EXPIRE just looking at it. Which is not true, because, duh!? I have been staring at it [all googly-eyed] for the past FOUR DAYS, looking for any signs that it might explode so that I will be able to save my family from the clutches of its violence. Fortunately [or maybe unfortunately] it hasn’t even grown since yesterday evening.
Anyway, I’m going to be keeping a very close watch on it from now on. Who KNOWS what it might be in reality??! Mum may be brushing it off as just another seed gone wild, but I suspect more sinister activity. Even the gardener thinks its “just another flower that doesn’t know how to behave.” [What exactly is that supposed to mean anyway??] I just KNOW that he’s WRONG. He has completely and TOTALLY erred. [And he’s the one with the botany degree. Hah!! If he has qualifications in the plant field, I’m Rihanna!!]
If you are wondering why this has anything to do with me, I just have to say this; DON’T YOU THINK MY [FOSTER] PARENTS AND [FOSTER]SIBLINGS LIVES AND MY OWN LIFE ARE OF NO CONCERN TO ME???????????????? HA???????????????? Who do you think I am?? An emptionally sensitive canine or a GROUCHY MONSTER WHO DOESN’T EVEN CARE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BROUGHT HIM UP???????? [And if you dare say that you think I am the latter, I will sneak into your house at night and bite off all your toes. Oh yes I will!!]
Looks like I’ve got to go. Guard the “violent plant.” Believe me, if you see the size of that thing, you’d start having suspicious too. It has got to be bigger than dad’s luxury sedan! Okay, maybe that’s a bit of exaggeration, but come on!! How come nobody listens to me when I’m trying to say something?? Maybe I should reveal to mum and dad about my blog. Maybe this way they’ll be able to undertsand what I’ve been trying to say all these years.
Hey, maybe that really IS a good idea!! But, on second thoughts, maybe the best thing to do would be keep them out of the equation. Yeah. Maybe that’s the right way to go. [Do you think I’ve maybe used a lot of “maybe’s” in the last two paragraphs???] Oops, just realized that the undercover assassin who has taken the form of a sprout is probably trying to make his first moves. I am sure it can perform locomotion. [Who heard of a killer who is rooted to the round; quite literally??]
Bye , Dearest Blog Reader. Feni the dog is out to [try to] save the day!!7