Woof Humor

The Sixty-Sixth Nibble

I am going to faint from a panic overdose any moment now!!!!!!!!!!!! The most SURREAL thing happened to me today. It’s probably best that I narrate this incident from the beginning, so…

I was innocently sitting on the front porch, waiting for something [ANYTHING] to happen when Mum walked up to me, patted my head and sat down. ‘Feni, you know that you’re a very special dog, don’t you??’ She mumbled, ruffling my fur. I had no idea what I was supposed to do right then. Obviously, I couldn’t nod my head or anything, I’m not supposed to have understood what she said. But I couldn’t just SIT there, either.

Thankfully, Mum solved my dilemma by calmly saying, ‘It’s OK Feni, I know you can talk,’

That’s all it took to freeze my blood, one simple sentence. Thousands of thoughts went bursting through my mind in the seconds that followed Mum’s confession. SHE KNEW?????? WHAT THE HONEY SANDWICHES???????????

Who else was aware of the fact that I’m a talking Labrador?? And *Gasp!!* do they know about my BLOG?????????

‘Um… Hey Mum,’ I rasped, surprised at how easily the words flowed out my mouth. ‘Feni, I wish I could… I wish I could keep you here with us, but…’ Mum looked away, blinking back the tears that were sprinkling themselves out of her eyes.

‘But what, Mum??’ I asked, puzzled at how she didn’t even seem a teensy weensy bit taken aback at my voice, which she hasn’t heard in, like, FOREVER [SO not an exaggeration].

‘Feni… You… Your real parents are coming over this evening. They want to… To take you back. To them,’ She sniffled, blowing her nose into a hanky. ‘Wait… WHAT??’ I asked, completely lost. ‘I have… REAL parents??’

-In hindsight, that question was probably the dumbest set of words ever uttered from the mouth of a dog-

‘Yeah. And they’re… They’re human,’ She informed, looking me straight in the eye. ‘Eh?? I have HUMAN parents??’ I questioned, shaking my head. What was I?? A science experiment gone wrong??????

‘You see, your REAL body…’

OK, the imaginative part of my brain has done enough work for today, so let me cut to the chase and say,

YOU GOT PUNK’D!!!!! [Well, not REALLY]

Happy April Fools, Dear Reader, now you can honestly tell your pals that you got royally pranked!!!!! [By a DOG!!!]

 

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