Woof Humor

The Fifty-First Stop

I am so sad, I could cry. Not only has Ed Sheeran STILL not-invited me on stage to receive my award  but I found a devastating poem tucked on Taylor’s desk which moved me considerably. I know I probably shouldn’t have read it, but I couldn’t help myself. It was written neatly with a calligraphy pen and had dried leaves stuck all over to make it look all fancy-like.

I can’t believe she actually did this to me. I just cannot believe it. How?? How did this happen?? I always thought that I was theicing on everyone’s cake of life, but now I’m beginning to think that all along I was living in a fantasy world.

Here is her poem, the piece of paper that broke my heart;

Chummy [That’s the name of the neighbor’s dog. Curse him]

Silken fur, angelic eyes

That’s my darling Chummy

Padded paws, daring roar

And a cutsie bummie!

Chummy’s adorbs snout

And his stride like a yob

People crowd around him

Creating a mob

To catch a glimpse of

This handsome lil’ guy

My sweetie-beetie doggie

The apple of my eye!! 

How would you like it someone you thought loved you more than life itself actually doesn’t????? So, instead of acting all drama-ish and stuff, I have resolved to let her know what exactly I think about this. Of course, I can’t SAY it out loud, but I AM a blogging dog, so it shouldn’t be a problem to dash off a poem and send it to her email inbox. Now all that’s left to do is write it, figure her email ID and then wait for her to come back to me on her knees, crying blood and begging for my forgiveness. SWEET!!


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