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The Thirty-Ninth Bit

Remind me NEVER to eat anything that has looks like it has been slogged over to look good. As a rule, I don’t normally eat dishes that have an appealing presentation, but I was just SO hungry and I felt like my tummy was going to burst due to excess emptiness and my mind went funny and…

There’s NO excuse. I am a pathetic being who compromises on her principles. Thank Goodness I haven’t any younger siblings who I could influence. Just thinking about where they would end up if they aped my daily actions makes me shudder.

Anyway, about the “pretty dish that turned out to be not so pretty,” I was patiently waiting for the sun to set [so that I could get some rest. Seriously, I have so much work, that your back will hurt just THINKING about it. And as I don’t want you suing me for vertebrae problems, I think I’ll skip on all the chores I was made to do from 5 in the morning] when Martha, the maid, came out of the kitchen, looking all… well, weird. [For a dog who blogs, I have a very short list of descriptive verbs]

At first, I was too busy licking my rear end [WHAT??!!!?] to notice. But then, when she prodded me with a stick [ouch] for the fourth time, I looked up from my highly educational activity and went, ‘What do you want, lady?’ Only, I didn’t actually SAY it, because, you know, I’m a DOG and all.

Then she pushed the bowl -MY food bowl- in front of my snout, and I’ll admit it, the aroma was TO DIE FOR. So I sat there, wondering what she meant by this [because I am pretty sure I get fed only one meal per day] when she said, ‘Go one, Feni. Eat it up.’ Well, I didn’t need to be told TWICE.

Before she could say ‘Hot chocolate with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles on top,’ I was DIGGING into my supper plate. And LOVING every bit. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. I did feel a mildly bitter taste creep up my taste buds, but I was too hungry to notice.

As soon I was done, I flopped down next to the empty-platter and resumed what I was doing before I was interrupted [you know…]. That’s when I felt something weird happening. When I looked up, was I shocked to see the whole family peering down at me, a strange expression plastering their faces.

Of course, as it isn’t everyday that I get stared at by my own blood relatives [okay, NOT my own blood, because, hello?? They are HUMANS. But still, as close to blood relatives as you can get] so I returned their funny expressions.

And then Taylor said something that amde my blood turn cold. Well, at least now we know that Feni wasn’t really allergic to eggplant. It was just a plain case of a bratty kid. My being froze. WHAT??!!?!?? [This is the third time I have written WHAT??!!!? in this post. Fourth, counting this one]   I had just eaten an EGGPLANT meal??????????????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

You, Dear Blog Reader, are probably wondering why shoving a piece of vegetable in my mouth deserves an AH with thirteen A’s. Well, it’s because I had sworn that I would never touch that devastatingly hideous eatable in my mouth ever again when I figured that it was filled to the brim with… with… oh, alright, it’s all a LIE.

The REAL reason why I’m not a very big fan of eggplant is because when I was really young and at my previous owner’s house, they once offered me a bit of their E. plant salad [I KNOW RIGHT!!!] for lunch. Of course, as I am not at all passionate about lunching on eggs [the idea of feasting on another animal -well, semi-animal in this case- has me bringing out the barf bags] and so I figured that any item with the word is bound to be somewhat related to eggs.

Since then, I have sworn off yolk. Of course, once when I was young, I was tricked into eating a big of the veggie, and, believe it or not, I LOVED it. But I was pretty sour after my animal siblings fessed up about the crime. And even though I happen to still be dazed by the short-termed love affair I shared with the purple vegetable, my pride came in the way of ever setting my jaws on them again.

That’s why I was so mad after the little prank the family played on me today. There was nothing funny about it, though you wouldn’t have guessed it if you heard the howls that erupted from the dining room after Taylor made that short announcement.

Humph. Me and my STUPID pride.

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