I was just surfing the net, trying to find out how many different types of tofu actually exist when the laptop started beeping, which meant I’d gotten a WordPress notification. Yeah!! That’s what I’m talking about, baby!! [WHEN was the last time someone commented on my site????????? HA??????????]
Pointing the cursor over my blog’s tab, I clicked and scrolled over to my message box.
Think about the SHOCK and ECSTASY that swept over my being when I realised that Don Charisma [a favorite blogger] had decided to award ME the prestigious “Inner Peace” Award!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently, the only condition to accept this award is write up a short paragraph on why I’m agreeing to say yes. I’ve got three words for you; ‘WHY WOULDN’T I?????’
I mean, WHO says NO to an AWARD??????? Better yet, a WORDPRESS AWARD?????????
So, being the law-abiding citizen that I am, here’s my one paragraph;
Why I Think I Deserve The Inner Peace Award
I was BORN to be on stage, hearing my name being called out, running up to the podium to receive a glittering trophy with my name engraved on it. Instead of a showcase full of medals, though, God decided to grant me four legs and a tail instead. Humph.
So you can see why getting this is such a big deal to me. I’m all about optimism and seeing the silver lining and stuff. If you had to pick ONE person who is the most calm on the inside, you’d probably choose me [wouldn't you?? WOULDN'T YOU????????????]. That’s why I know I’m right for this badge, and it is right for me. Thanks Don, and have a GREAT day, Dear Reader!!
Let me start with a question; have you ever heard someone sing and then immediately decided that you cannot live without listening to his/her voice every single moment till the day you die??
Well, I have. And believe me, it is not easy to continue surviving without being able to hear his/her music fill your ears constantly. [Which is what I am forced to do, thanks to the fact that I cannot operate the music system and pop in one of my new favorite artist's CD's]
I know that this post is very short and that is inexcusable in the world of blogging, but sometimes there is stuff you just have to do, stuff that just might be more important that spilling your guts out to a random bunch of people.
So I guess this is goodbye, till the next time I can bear to separate myself from His/Her voice for a few moments [the computer is SO far away from the CD player].
Just one last question;
What is that website that my siblings keep talking about?? The one where you can listen to music for free, along with the song’s video??? I know it may seem a little weird for a writing dog not to know this -supposedly- insanely popular website, but hey, how can you blame me?? I mean, when I get the machine to myself for a few minutes, I dash in front of it, type a few paragraphs as fast as I can and dash back to my place before anyone catches me. Can you imagine the havoc that could be caused if my folks know that I have a site??????
I am going to faint from a panic overdose any moment now!!!!!!!!!!!! The most SURREAL thing happened to me today. It’s probably best that I narrate this incident from the beginning, so…
I was innocently sitting on the front porch, waiting for something [ANYTHING] to happen when Mum walked up to me, patted my head and sat down. ‘Feni, you know that you’re a very special dog, don’t you??’ She mumbled, ruffling my fur. I had no idea what I was supposed to do right then. Obviously, I couldn’t nod my head or anything, I’m not supposed to have understood what she said. But I couldn’t just SIT there, either.
Thankfully, Mum solved my dilemma by calmly saying, ‘It’s OK Feni, I know you can talk,’
That’s all it took to freeze my blood, one simple sentence. Thousands of thoughts went bursting through my mind in the seconds that followed Mum’s confession. SHE KNEW?????? WHAT THE HONEY SANDWICHES???????????
Who else was aware of the fact that I’m a talking Labrador?? And *Gasp!!* do they know about my BLOG?????????
‘Um… Hey Mum,’ I rasped, surprised at how easily the words flowed out my mouth. ‘Feni, I wish I could… I wish I could keep you here with us, but…’ Mum looked away, blinking back the tears that were sprinkling themselves out of her eyes.
‘But what, Mum??’ I asked, puzzled at how she didn’t even seem a teensy weensy bit taken aback at my voice, which she hasn’t heard in, like, FOREVER [SO not an exaggeration].
‘Feni… You… Your real parents are coming over this evening. They want to… To take you back. To them,’ She sniffled, blowing her nose into a hanky. ‘Wait… WHAT??’ I asked, completely lost. ‘I have… REAL parents??’
-In hindsight, that question was probably the dumbest set of words ever uttered from the mouth of a dog-
‘Yeah. And they’re… They’re human,’ She informed, looking me straight in the eye. ‘Eh?? I have HUMAN parents??’ I questioned, shaking my head. What was I?? A science experiment gone wrong??????
‘You see, your REAL body…’
OK, the imaginative part of my brain has done enough work for today, so let me cut to the chase and say,
YOU GOT PUNK’D!!!!! [Well, not REALLY]
Happy April Fools, Dear Reader, now you can honestly tell your pals that you got royally pranked!!!!! [By a DOG!!!]
Wiped off the extra-large hot-fudge-and-strawberry ice cream sundae that Mum placed on the kitchen counter [I hope she didn't intend on finishing it, because now there's nothing LEFT to finish]. Just what I need to get me through the day, a quick and sugary energy boost.
Speaking of the T.V [Oh, we weren't talking about the telly?? Oops, my bad!!], I wrote a Movie Review on Frozen. You know, the movie that everybody who’s anybody is talking about. So, because I wanted to seem like a SOMEBODY, I wrote a few paragraphs about it.
Here it is, my cold beauty;
Let me start by saying; Gosh, that movie was HOT!! [The cruel irony of the film industry, eh??]
I couldn’t TEAR my eyes off the TV screen even for a short potty break. [yeah, I just said "potty"] I mean, SERIOUSLY. [OK, I said the "P" word in public. Now could you please get over it??] It was THAT great. [POTTY!!!! POTTY!!!! POTTY!!!!! Is THAT POTTYlicious enough for you?? You poop hating FREAKS!!!!!!]
-Let’s start this over-
Under usual circumstances, I would begin a movie review with maybe a few newspaper ratings and boring stats like the sold-out theatres, broken records, blah, blah, blah. But, let me remind you, there is NOTHING normal about Frozen, the SENSATIONAL animated Disney movie that won TWO Oscars at the 86th academy awards [there I go with the stats again].
From the moment the picture started, I was GLUED. My whole body tensed up, waiting for the next revelation. I had so many questions, and I was blood hungry for the answers.
The clothes were elegant, the story itself was quite interesting, the songs were catchy and fun to sing along to, [not that I have them on Replay or anything. Why would I?? Right??] it was very child-friendly and clean.
It WAS cliche, I’ll admit it. [Princess meets Prince. Princess falls in love with Price. Princess marries Prince. Princess meets Man Who Sells Ice. Man Who Sells Ice falls in love with Princess. Princess finds out that Prince is not in love with her and wants to take over her kingdom. Princess dumps Prince. Princess falls in love with Man Who Sells Ice. The End. -OK, it may not be THAT cliche...-] But it did have tons of original ideas. Like the Snowman, Olaf. [A personal favorite]
Although it was very, very good, I have a few doubts I want to clear with the script writers. I mean,
Why did Elsa have magic powers that she didn’t even want?? Couldn’t she somehow magically donate it to someone who actually cared two hoots whether they could shoot frost out of their hands?? [Like me??]
Why did Anna want Else back so badly?? Even after Elsa practically KILLED her at her ice-fort thingy. Yeah, this is a true demonstration of a sister’s love and all, but when does this happen in REAL life?? [The place where dancing dollops of snow and rock-trolls don't exist]
How on EARTH does Kristoff’s [A.K.A Man Who Sells Ice] reindeer live THAT long?? AND be so fit and healthy?????????
I’d love to go on, but Mum’s calling me in for lunch. Boy, am I starving!! And we’re having my favorite today; Food!! I’ll see you later, Reader. Oh, and FOLLOW!!!!!
So?? What do you have to say?? Good?? Not good?? OK?? Absolutely, unbelievably, grossly pathetic??
Well whatever you want to say, feel free to use the comment section and the poll thats pasted below. Happy Reading!!
Completely exhausted. I just jogged along the ENTIRE perimeter of the master bedroom TWICE and am sweating like a pig. Oops, just forgot that dog’s can’t actually SWEAT. You got me there, didn’t you, Reader??
Anyway, I just wanted to inform you that today was my foster-parents anniversary. Taylor and Trikaya stayed up all night and made their parents breakfast in bed which was actually more like charred bits of “bread” and sour chunks of cream, but by the looks on the faces of their Mum and Dad, you would’ve thought they’d just discovered a cure for cancer.
It’s been a week since I sent the letter, but Jennifer Lawrence STILL hasn’t replied!! This is the last time I ever try to interact with the famous, that’s for sure.
The fact that I haven’t received a response is quite a bummer, because I was keen on having a celeb pen friend. But, hey, you win some you lose some, right??
Oh, my tummy has doubled its size since I began blogging. I have even grown a triple chin!! At this rate, my foster family will have to trade abodes with me; I get to stay in their wonderful mansion while they house at my kennel. It’s a fair proposition, eh??
Just yesterday, I jotted down a poem, my first in weeks [It's amazing how much weight can damped your inner poet]. Take a look;
Feni [A poem on myself]
I’m a sweet little thing
With a little too much fat
I ain’t got no bling
Except my gilded hat
It isn’t really mine
Just a sister’s hand-me-down
But it looks pretty fine
And goes well with my gown
OK, maybe I don’t have one
A lady’s gown, I mean
But how can I run
In a garment so clean??
It’s time I stopped my writing
I’ve scrawled quite enough
Oh, my sister’s are fighting
Boy, don’t they look tough!!
Well then, how do you like it?? A rookie’s piece, I know, but hey, at least I gave it a shot.
There I go again, getting all defensive over nothing. Sorry if I offended you, Dear Reader, but its just that… Nowadays pedestrians who happen to glance my way point out at my protruding belly and… well, you know the rest.
I’m sure that you have more interesting things to do that listen to a chubby dog’s sob story so I’l leave you to get about it now. Good Afternoon!!